Stress is not the enemy 

Stress is an in-built survival mechanism that humans experience on a daily basis that helps to keep us alive. 

Even though it is a regular part of our everyday experience, stress is often given a bad name. Yet, without a certain level of stimulation, we would have zero motivation to even get out of bed in the morning. 

So, if we understand that stress response is a crucial part of our survival mechanism, the idea of eliminating it completely just isn’t realistic. Instead, effective stress management comes down to learning how to live better with stress and gaining control over how we choose to respond.

Ultimately, managing stress isn’t about eradicating it but rather about channeling our stress response in ways that enhance our wellbeing and performance. By finding a balance – taking control of our reactions while recognising that certain levels of stress can drive growth and productivity – stress management can become a powerful tool for building an absolutely beautiful life.

However, our first step toward better stress management must start with exploring a few of the common misconceptions about stress – what it is, where it comes from, and its effects, because it’s often these common misunderstandings that get in the way of effective stress management.

Let’s take a quick look into four common stress myths, so that you and stress can start to build a happier, healthier life together. 

Myth 1: Stress is caused by your circumstances and environment

Contrary to what many people believe, stress comes from the thoughts and opinions we have about a particular situation, and not the situation itself. This is not undermining the severity of the stressful event we may be experiencing, but it’s acknowledging that there are multiple factors involved in our experience.

One of my favourite quotes from Shakespeare’s ‘Hamlet’ summarises this brilliantly:

“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”

Shakespeare

This beautiful quote highlights that it’s not the event that causes us distress, but it’s our thoughts, beliefs and opinions we hold about that event.

This is why different people react so differently to the same situation; our experience of stressful events is all based on how we perceive the situation and then how we choose to respond.

Myth 2: Exercising, breathing, and relaxation techniques are the best ways to deal with stress

While these are undoubtedly valuable in recalibrating and excellent coping methods, which I often recommend, they do not remove the stressor itself. These practices can certainly alleviate symptoms of stress and boost our resilience (both of which are important), but we also need to look at how we perceive stress.

It should go without saying that, where possible, we must aim to reduce or remove the experiences causing unnecessary stress. However, it’s equally essential to reflect on our relationship with stress and the narratives we attach to our experiences. Sometimes, our interpretations and mental stories can actually amplify our stress. Addressing this perception is an especially important step for managing stressors that we cannot change or that are currently beyond our control.

Myth 3: Stress is always motivating

Hans Selye famously introduced the concept of two types of stress: distress, which negatively affects us, and eustress, which has a positive impact. Deadlines, setting objectives, and pushing ourselves to achieve can indeed be stimulating and productive when kept in moderation. However, everyone has a unique response to pressure.

Andrew Bernstein argues that people accomplish tasks despite their stress, not because of it. While his perspective holds weight, I believe our relationship with stress is highly individual. Our responses can fluctuate daily, depending on what else we’re dealing with and how full our plates are. Research has shown that a certain level of stimulation and pressure is necessary for an effective performance, but this will vary from person to person and from moment to moment.

Myth 4: Stress is a choice

As we highlighted earlier, our stress response is a necessary part of life and removing this survival instinct and reaction completely from our lives is not an option. Therefore, since it’s an in-built mechanism designed to keep us safe, we can’t always control when this response is activated.

What we can control, however, is how we manage stress. Effective stress management means working to reduce our reactivity in stressful situations – thereby lowering the frequency and intensity of triggers – and becoming more attuned to recognising our stress response early. Once we notice that our stress response has been activated, we can make a conscious choice to pause, assess the situation, and adjust our reaction accordingly.

While we can’t always avoid the trigger itself, how we choose to respond is within our control. It’s much easier said than done, but with the right training and consistent practice, it’s entirely possible.

Click below to access our much-loved tip sheet, which shares core steps that you can start using today to shift from a reactive state to a responsive one, helping you to emotionally regulate during moments of high stress.

Your stress management challenge today

Take a moment to review and / or journal on your relationship with stress. When you think about stress, do you view it as a necessary part of life or something that you desperately want gone?

What might be a healthier way to think about stress that could serve you better when you’re next facing a challenging situation? 

Call to action

To help support staff wellbeing, we offer stress and resilience workshops designed to reframe and manage stress while teaching learners how to best support themselves and others, both in the workplace and at home.

Our most popular workshop, Resilient by Design: Navigating Stress, Burnout, and Building Resilience, is a proven success. One of our wonderful clients even shared that she wouldn’t have made it through her CIPD Diploma without this workshop – so we know it works!

Get in touch with Rebecca today at hello@siendo.co.uk, and discover the incredible difference it makes when stress stops being the enemy and starts becoming a source of strength for you and those around you.